Thursday, October 29, 2009

A Visit with Mom

Today was our first time to meet Aaron's birthmom. I wasn't sure what to expect and was a little anxious, but so far have learned just to keep walking and things will get figured out along the way. Eric and I had a good conversation last night to remember our purpose and hope for being foster parents. It's easy to lose focus and just want to keep him for myself in the day to day love and work of mothering. It's important to keep talking - to each other, to our families, and to our friends about why we are here and why he is here and . . .anyway . . .back to the birthmom meeting.

Our appointment was at 10:00 a.m. across town at the CPS office- not the CPS office we went to last time, but a new one, with a new caseworker. We arrived about 15 minutes early, signed in, and sat down in the waiting room. I knew his birthmom as soon as she walked in the door- young, jeans and a t-shirt, and the requisite J's * of urban high school fashion. She and I sat awkwardly on opposite sides of the waiting room for a time. At first, I worried about what I was supposed to do- was she supposed to see me? what if she was unkind? does she hate seeing me hold her baby? what if her mom cussed at me in spanish (like I heard she did at an earlier meeting)? Finally, I just did what I would do if I were at work- I spoke to her- like a person and invited her to come sit with us. I knew I couldn't just give him to her without CPS supervision, so she just sat next to us and touched his face, held his hand, spoke quietly and sweetly to this baby that she carried to term but had scarcely seen since birth. After just a couple of minutes, his caseworker came down and took them back to a visitation room. I spent a good part of the next hour wandering the local Wal-Mart ** and returned just before 11:00. With kisses and tears Aaron was returned to my arms. It was a sweet moment, and now I know. It's not about us and our family-- it's about him.

* Nike Air Jordan's
** I hate Wal-Mart. Just so you know.

1 comment:

Mamalibearian said...

oh my friend! You are such a good person to go through all of this! I don't know if I could! You and Eric are the best people to take care of the little guy for as long as you have him. I know that you are giving him your best and that will be blessed for it.
I hate Wal-Mart, too! Ick!

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