gratitude.

1. My husband- my friend, my love.

2. Our parents- their faith in us and all that is good.

3. Stephanie and Jarret- though far away, close at heart.

4. My girlfriends- their strength, their hope, their laughter.

5. Our friends- walk with us, talk with us, drink with us.

6. Our students- our education, our growth.

7. Our jobs- provision for today, hope for tomorrow.

8. Our home- sweet. home.

9. Our faith- in others, in ourselves, in Life.

10. Our baby.

Today this whole foster parenting thing sucks.

Parenting is a lot of work. a lot. I mean, babies don't care if you've slept or eaten or had a great day or a terrible day. They need what they need without regard for your strength. Foster parenting, especially as it is our hope to adopt, is that much harder.

Today we had a birthparent visit. When I walked in I was surprised to see that not only was Aaron's birthmom present, but his birthfather as well. I was just overcome with the reality that we've chosen to love this baby as our own, but it's not likely he'll be ours forever.

and today, that sucks.

Firsts.

We went on our fist vacation as a family of 3. Headed to Kemah for the night to participate in the MS Walk on Saturday-- the thought of getting there by 8 from our house was just too much! We had a blast and it was an honor to walk for our friend, Nicole. So, it was Aaron's first vacation and first 5 K.

The weekend was followed by my first day back at work. I'm not really sure what to tell you there. It was both terribly hard to leave the little guy (with my parents for the first week) and also great to see my kids at school. They were excited to see me and have asked a lot of questions about the baby since. I've been pretty guarded about how much to share with them, but am so deeply appreciative of their love and support.

My parents seemed to have a wonderful time staying at home with baby. Foster care allows for very little in the way of babysitters. Hours of training, tb tests, interviews, and reference letters are required on top of the requisite criminal background checks. Needless to say, my parents are our only eligible babysitters.

We also had our first CPS home visit-- honestly, I'm not sure of the purpose (other than checking up on our home) of the home visits by either CPS or DePelchin. Both agencies come out monthly. So far, visits are short and generally uneventful. I did get a tiny bit more insight into the process of reunification and foster care, but mostly discovered that one aspect of the brokenness of CPS is that no one seems to work there long. Our caseworker gave me a little better picture of the timeline of hearings and decisions, but has worked for CPS for only months, so had very little in the way of details.

Finally, we started this week with baby's first days of daycare. I don't know if I've mentioned before, but I'm blessed to be able to work only 3 days/week. This is a lovely arrangement for our family-- the district continues to provide full benefits, I'm able to continue at a job I love, and I'm able to be a mom. He didn't nap much on Monday, but did much better today and his teacher even reported that he spent a lot of time "talking" to the other babies. I'm so happy he's having the opportunity to socialize and be loved on by so many people.

And most importantly, baby boy has really really started to smile and interact with objects- it's so awesome to see him grow-- there are new "firsts" all the time!

Someone Else's Child

Shannon

hey there

do you have 2 seconds?

2:21pm

Michelle

i do, i do

and i am.

2:21pm

Shannon

i just wanted to tell you -

i was thinking about you and Eric over the weekend

and what a wonderful thing you are doing

I read on somebody's profile on match.com, "

If you are a single mother, God bless you. But I want to have my own children, not someone else's."

and it cut me to the quick

just the wording

2:22pm

Michelle

yeah, no kidding.

2:22pm

Shannon

and that got me to thinking bigger picture

what if no one ever wanted "someone else's children"

and I started think ing about you guys

and my cousin and her husband who adopted twins from China

and I just wanted to connect with you and acknowledge what an amazing thing you are doing

and how I, as a mother, and a single one, am very grateful for that

it just really affected me

and also kind of made me feel closer to you

that's all

2:24pm

Michelle

well, thanks. that's really encouraging-

and encouraging to know that others are listening, thinking of, and praying for us.

and we really love y'all. we should hang out again soon. Rowan is good for Eric.

2:25pm

Shannon

you bet

is there a possibility you will adopt the little boy you have now?

(and lol re Rowan being good for Eric)

2:25pm

Michelle

there's a possibility, yes,

but it's a long road.

we'd love to.

but we're in it for whatever is best for him and believe that our forever children will come to us trhough adoption.

*through.

2:26pm

Shannon

your forever children

that is WONDERFUl

L

well I am here if you ever need to vent or scream or cry or share some tiny wonder

I know we don't know each other THAT well

but there are ties that bind

2:28pm

Michelle

Thank you. Would you mind if I posted some of your words on our blog?

An excerpt from a chat I had with a friend on Facebook this afternoon got me thinking about what makes a child my own. If family starts and ends with biology then we're a world in trouble. Aaron and I don't share DNA, and though my mom says we favor physically (brown hair?)- that's just coincidence, but am I any less his Mother? I feed him, I rock him, I read with him, and I talk with him. I pay for his diapers and buy him clothes. I sign the documents when I take him to the doctor. I love him and cherish him- isn't that family? And Shannon- she doesn't share my blood and we've only spent brief hours together, but she took the time to talk, she cares about us, and shares with us; Our lives are rich with "someone else's child (sister, mother, brother, uncle)", and the ties that bind us to them, while not DNA, can be just as strong.